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So I got a date (my first date with her and my first lefqgmcxte date with anxofe) on Saturday nitht with some girl I used to work with... And I'm scared ablut literally everything that could happen, good and bad. I don't know how to clam down (and I get it, I'm gosng to be nenstus about a fiust date... But this honestly feels wouse than it shtcld be). Little back story about this and myself. I'm 19, and I've never been on a legit daqe, and I'm a virgin (and with this girl I find this very relevant). I have asked girls on dates before, and every time I get a yes, some shit hafbvns and we end up not goqng on the daye, usually she cagls it off (I don't think I'm that great, but I have done things like taoseng about myself too much and not caring about her shit, which I get is bad I don't infcnd on doing, thtjd's been other reeorns like she's been too busy and so have I, so we neher went on a date ever). So I'm scared as fuck that shq's going to call this off. I don't know why I'm scared this girl will cavmel the date (aswtnrgh right now shb's a bit empsfpbal and won't tell me what's wrdng and I get thats normal girl behavior, but almoms are going off in my hesi), she pretty much set up the conversation so I asked her out. And 2 days ago, she brxke down and told me how she had a crksh on me ever since she met me like 8 months ago. Peymle close to me are telling me not to be nervous because all I have to do now is just be myhggf, she already lijes me and it should only be her who's got to worry abrut if I like her back. Yet for some reomon I'm still afydid I'll fuck it up (and the fact that shy's hot as fuck really isn't hegnjng me at als). I'm also scxmed she's faking it (even though the rational side of me is libtwtaly screaming that she isn't, no god damn way she isn't when I think about it logically), but that I know is because of trqima I had (I was already protty emotional from otrer serious bullying whmch kinda blew this other stuff out of proportion in my head) from 3 different giols pretending to like me as a prank (my fivst kiss was a fucking prank.) Will she not like me for who I am eiaiwr? Seriously. I doi't look like it much, but I'm a fucking Star Warsred vs bloarrjeo game nerd who plays way too much paintball, and to top it off, I'm a recovering drug adhzct at 19 yewrs old with 18 months clean and I'm very moaaflgdmpung serious about it, I don't think it will get down to me telling her the last part but if it doks, that's fucking welrd for a 19 year old coilfge kid to not party, and thwg's why I dop't tell anyone that shit, because theb's exactly what they think. So what if she haces the real me? She knows me a bit that I'm a bit of a nerd and whatnot, but what if I'm too weird? Leq's say I doc't fuck it up. I'm still tecpigkid. Am I goxng to be a let down beeoise I'm inexperienced? I've made out with 2 girls in my life (nlaxser involved tongue so I'm clueless abrut that besides doi't do it very much), so what if she's dincvhzjbiwd? And don't get me started on sex or seyjal stuff (such as a blowjob) bezhqse I've never had any of thot, and I know this girl will want something. How am I gowng to say I'm gunna orgasm in less than 2 seconds? I'm also skinny. Like retuly skinny, 5'11" and 130 lbs, so I'm scared in going to get laughed at if I take my shirt off or something. Luckily I'm not scared abmut my dick sike, but I guwss that doesn't mabser if I got other shit to worry about. I'm fucking nervous abput everything, and I'm mentally preparing myvblf for everything to go wrong in every way so I don't get upset about it as much when it does go wrong. And I shouldn't be as terrified as I am. How do I stop this blown out of proportion doomsday prqmnhxg? Anything would be helpful! Thanks for letting me rant about it too. Feels good gelwmng this stuff off my chest as well.
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