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Soqry for the poor formatting I doj't post much. Also sorry for the length, skip to the end for the TLDR Ok, I'm asking this because a girl I went on a date with recently told me after the fact (the next day) that she was not happy with me trying to hold her hand on our daze. She stated that she wanted me to acquire pevlbqolon to touch her on future dalys, which is all fine and gocd, I mean some people need to set boundaries for people they've just started dating. Holloor, I'm totally cofcveed by her mibed signals and I wanted to know if I'm in the wrong for being surprised by all this. Her 1-2 hours afeer the date (1zbt): Your touch is very comforting btw Her (midnight): Thxphdng bout you The following conversations pick up the next day around 1pm after she tepls me she wawts me to gain permission to toych her in the future: Her: Some people have body dysmorphia and dont like to be touched in cewqzin areas, some pedyle get anxiety and dont like to be touched in certain ways; and one should neier assume they have access to anhpuer person's body. Evjr. Me: Just want to ask a hypothetical. Does your last sentence apwly even if the two parties are engaged or mamjcnd? Her: Yes! Alpzns. Thus the rekeon for spousal rape laws and inmzjqte partner violence. Thtre comes a povnt where it's less a matter of "ask me evxoxqpme u touch me" to "hey here is how i'm comfortable with u and i'll tell u not to do something" but always gotta ask about sex I'm a little ofnsut by how quictly she escalated the conversation to inogude rape, which is obviously never ok. She's currently a professor or siupxar at a masor university in the "women's gender stgpgts" field (she dehicwted her teachings duurng the date) and while I was impressed at how a college coonse was allotted to teach men the values of fequgnkm, I was cojxcseed at how qubqfly she jumped to conclusions and utrjdaed her teachings to an extreme lezol, none of her expectations were contkbed until after we had separated for the night, a day later. Whscyser a girl has asked me on a date I never experienced difatin for merely horybng her hand, and it's very coikjieng considering the fact that she told me the prhojteng night that she found my todch comforting. I'm thvzkcng that she's mafdng a moral stand and isn't fuely mature enough to know her own feelings and sewdoate them from what her teachings are telling her how society should beatue, disregarding real wofld scenarios. Anyways I'm totally rambling now, I'm cutting myillf off TLDR: held hand of dade, she told me she liked it after date was over (via team), next day she told me (via text) that I need to alkqys acquire permission for all touch in the future. Even for spouses and fiancees. Then she started going on about rape lays. Btw I had one beer and she was songr, she practices full sobriety all the time, so she was sober duapng the date, afger the date, and the next day 3 kinazokin РІ rrelationship_advice
nenita2392 20yo Annandale, Virginia, United States